The Galactic Infinity Machine

A G Esq
6 min readMay 19, 2021

and the Unfortunate Quantum Cookie Stories of Statistical Happiness

Long time ago in the center of the galaxy, where the Great Civilization of the Builders lived, the Two Great Engineers reached the pinnacle of their civilization’s knowledge. They came together one day, and debated upon their next planned endeavor, hoping to achieve ever more success.

The First Engineer began by asking, “What do you think our people really want? We should design a machine that can give our people what they really want.”

The Second replied, “I think it depends on the person. Everyone wants something different than others.”

The First thought about it, “Then, I think we should build a machine that can give Anything the people asked for. Anything they want, the machine can make it and give it to them.”

“Anything? Food? Clothing? Money?”

“Yes, anything. We have the technology, we can build the machine.”

“How do we control the machine?”

“The machine would have 1 button. When a person presses the button, the machine reads the mind of the person via telepathy and then build what they desired.”

“That machine would require nearly infinite resources?!”

“Yes, we can call it the Galactic Infinity Machine.”

The Second joked, “Now, if you already built this machine, you can just press a button and it can make another one of itself. Haha.”

The First laughed. “OK seriously, we need to think about how to go about building it.”

The Second, being the more technical, “OK, let me think about it for a few days, and come up with a prototype, then we can test it.”

…. After a few days, the First went to the lab and saw the Second hard at work.

“How is it coming along?”

“I nearly finished with the telepathy test module. It should be able to display what a person really desires. Then we can set about making the machine to build what he/she desires.”

“Let’s test out the telepathy test module.”